«Being assertive means being neither aggressive nor passive» — Roberto Aguado.
I am a person with a leadership style very different from that of my superior. And, to be honest, on a personal level, I’m as normal as anyone who struggles with their own ego.
Although I don’t agree with many of my boss’s ideas, he recently assigned me a project. At first I thought: «This is just another one of my ideas.» But something began to change when I started truly listening during the meetings with the staff under my supervision.
The Power of Changing Your Gaze
I realized that I needed to give them a different perspective on things. Getting to know the point of view from the perspective of those who act but don’t direct — people who maintain logical reasoning and face their own limitations — reawakened in me the initiative and creativity to solve problems.
As psychologist Javier Urra wisely says: «I believe we must be sentimental engineers of ourselves. We have a moral duty toward ourselves, toward others, toward humanity, and toward the Earth: it’s called respect.»
That is the essence: respecting others’ perspectives while building our own.
Resilience: It’s Not About Never Falling, But About Rising Again
The path was neither immediate nor simple. Resilience is not about avoiding blows, but about learning from them. Roberto Aguado explains it clearly: «Resilience is not about resisting how many hits you receive, but about deforming yourself to be born anew.»
And Javier Urra adds: «Resilience is strength, not invulnerability. Let’s not try to project an image of such strength and independence that we push everyone away.»
How important it is to remember this: being strong doesn’t mean pretending nothing affects us. It means acknowledging our emotions, accepting what comes, and moving forward with coherence.
Accepting in Order to Grow
«Let us accept the inevitable as a sign of balance and maturity, and let us not fall into an unfair feeling of guilt over self-referential thoughts, for not everything that happens is our responsibility.»
These words from Urra resonate with my experience: the project I was given wasn’t «my fault» or a punishment; it was an opportunity disguised as a challenge.
Dr. Cortney S. Warren, a Harvard-trained psychologist, reminds us that resilient people ask themselves a key question when facing difficulties: «What can I learn from this?»
Shifting perspective from «Why did this happen to me?» to «How can I grow from this?» completely transforms our ability to navigate life’s ups and downs.
The Result: A Broader Vision
All of this was possible thanks to the new approach my boss gave to the same project… and, above all, to the change in attitude that I decided to bring to the situation.
«Let us break the chains of fear, face our fears; we may lose, but we must not throw in the towel.»
That is my invitation to you today: the next time you face a project you don’t understand, a perspective that makes you uncomfortable, or a boss who leads differently than you, ask yourself: What would happen if I changed my gaze?
Because sometimes, assertiveness is not about imposing your truth, but about opening yourself to listen to others. And from that openness, a more powerful creativity is born, a broader vision, and a more human leadership.
